Another Sunday afternoon and I’m looking at how messy my apartment is.  I’ve always been a procrastinator ever since I can remember.  Be it cleaning, cooking, starting projects, writing papers, homework, laundry.  It’s a bad habit, but when I actually get started, I can get things done pretty quickly.

So, yeah…it’s been a long time since my last post.  Two months.  James and I are finally engaged.  YAY!  So, we’re getting closer to our elusive dream of marriage and home ownership.  I’ve been reading lots of blogs about infertility lately.  It’s sad, but some of them seem so self-indulgent.  When I read them and start thinking that way, I have to stop myself.  I’m not experiencing the pain and sadness and loss that these women have been for months and years.  And, it’s possible that one day, that could be my cross as well. 

By the time we’re ready to start a family, I’ll be about 35…also known as ‘advanced maternal age’ in obstetrics.  A lot of these blogs are written by late twenty-somethings who have been married for 4-5 years.  That doesn’t seem like procrastination to me. 

I haven’t procrastinated.  Well, maybe I did a little.  I spent most of my 20’s hoping Mr. Right would find me instead of actually putting myself out there.  When I actually started making an effort, it didn’t take me long to find James…the missing piece to my puzzle.  :-) 

And, I wouldn’t say we’re procrastinating now.  We dated for 2 years before getting engaged.  I think that’s an appropriate amount of time.  And, we’re planning on getting married next fall sometime.  I just signed another lease on the apartment, so we’ll be here until February 28th 2010.  *sigh*  That’s five years in my apartment…and it’s LONG enough! 

I want to raise a child in a settled, permanent environment.  Even when I moved in here, in my mind, it was just temporary.  I just needed time to get my financial house in order.  Hmmm…it’s taken longer than I expected!  So, I don’t see this as procrastination, I see this as a time of preparation.  Who knows what’s in the cards for us, I just want to be ready when the time is right.